I don't listen to a lot of Brit soft rock, but Aqualung's "Strange and Beautiful" seems an apt song to accompany this post.

I mean, it's a perfect stalker song! Right up there with Radiohead's "Creep" and The Police's "Every Breath You Take" (and Elvis' "Are You Lonesome Tonight", if this list is to be believed).

It goes awfully well with that late-evening-walking-down-a-dark-lane feeling you get, when you nervously peek over your shoulder every now and then to see if there's a shadow that shouldn't be there.

And no Ladies. You're not the only ones who're afraid of stalkers. There's enough guys out there who are, too. And let's face it, who wouldn't be afraid of (a) getting your head coshed over; (b) getting buggered.

There's quite a few times Crowley's had that feeling. But it's always turned out to be his own reflection in some random, nearby window that caught his eye.

What is the point of this post, you may ask?

The point is...I'm being stalked.

E-stalked, actually. My apprehension may be justified (in part) from the email below:

"Technology, the world wide web, curiousity... all of it together brings out the stalker in us and I feel compelled to ask... how come all your pictures on the internet are dark....Since I am confessing that I looked you up to figure out how I might know you, I found you are friends with one of the only two people in the world that I cannot stand. Worrying. There is no real point signing off with Stormbringer if Google is going to first announce to me that you are, in fact, (my real name)......I cannot continue the story because you have said Dearheart and I know someone who says that, it could be you, I can't remember who but I may be getting closer to figuring you out.....Lawyer? DJ? Both? Storm? Stormbringer? All four?

I am hung-over. that is why i am typing longwindingsentences. and then giving explanations after. or making excuses. same thing."

So. I am a stalkee. Not bad for someone who finds it impossible to get a date.

She (it's a female of the species. That is evident from a previous email) knows my REAL NAME!!!! (*wow*...er....*shudder*)


Should I be calling the cops?

Update:

Right. I'm not being stalked, after all. Let's just say a suitable clarification was issued to me. But, all the same. I'M WARNING YOU. VEE HAFF VEPPONS, UND VEE SHALL USE THEM IF REKWIRED!!!!

I can shoot a mean spitball :P

4 Scallywags have walked the Plank |:

Anonymous said...

hahahaha... how you flatter yourself!! remove it at once.

Anonymous said...

Ha, you veel nabbar deestrawye me!

Pri said...

does sending someone a powerpoint presentation stating you might have a virtual crush on them [this after they may or may not have see your name on their orkut last few visitors list repeatedly] qualify as cyber stalking?

mistercrowley said...

@ Pri...hahaha...well, if you're going to reveal your identity in the PPT presentation, then I suppose it's not stalking anymore (assuming this other person has visitor ID disabled on orkut)...though if you continue trying to get through to them without any responses, then I'd say you're still stalking :)