"Hi, I didn’t get your name back then. Music was a bit too loud to hear properly."

"Crowley. And yours is?"

"Melissa. Pleased to, er, formally meet you. Heh. Sooo, what d’you do for a living again?"

"I sue people. And wear a black cape while I’m at it. You?"

"Um…graphic designer."

"Ah, nice. With someone?"

"Nope. Freelancing at the moment."


Twenty minutes pass after this most entertaining and enlightening of conversations.

Crowley and Melissa are still sitting next to each other, but are they chatting happily ever after?

Of course not! Ever heard of a talkative lawyer? Why in the world you want to spend an evening chatting up an attractive (and hopefully unattached) young lady? What a pathetic waste of time, “socializing”! What in the holy FUCK are you doing taking it easy on a Sunday evening, Crowley, m’lad? There’re so many people to sue out there. So many hours to be billed.

Or how about this?

"Heh heh. So, those guys are your clients, eh? Fuck, they’ve yet to pay me, I ought to sue them. Heh. And I’m giving YOU notice. Like, right now, buddy."

"Yeah right. We’ll see you in court, lady."

"Heh. Nah, ‘tis ok. I think I can wait. So, you wanna grab something to eat? This hummus shit kicks ass!"

"Hmm. Nah. Not particularly hungry."

And, yes, that conversation went down like a lead balloon too.

It’s worrying, this trend. I’m unable to make conversation any more. Especially with pretty, intelligent women (not that I attempt to communicate with the dumb ones).

Oh, for a few more years of 20-hour workdays, and then to die in my sleep.

11 Scallywags have walked the Plank |:

Mukta said...

Now, see...maybe you ought to talk to other female lawyers, like the one who wanted you to play X and 0 with her.

You declined, remember? One mustn't be picky. He he he he!

I find such things so delightful!

mistercrowley said...

@ Mukta: Yeah, well...tic-tac-toe in the middle of a courtroom isn't exactly my idea of a come on ;) Certainly not when my boss is sitting 8 inches in front of me :P

Also, considering all the lawyers in my family, I think it's a good idea to expand the gene pool ;D

I scribble here said...

er.. sympathies.
and i wonder if it's ur profession. I know of two lawyer freind's.. most eligible and available :)

mistercrowley said...

@ Scribble: Nah....ain't the profession...just me, I guess

siropdevanille said...


Poor 'pretty intelligent women'!

mistercrowley said...

@ Syrup: Yeah, poor them, no?
You missed the comma there, luv ;)

randomrobin said...

Are you intuitive enough to recognize on sight if some one is dumb or not?!
I mean come on!

mistercrowley said...

@ Randomrobin: as a matter of fact, yes....part of my job profile, y'see....figuring out people by just watching them...and anyway, since I'm horribly picky about women, it's a good thing to be intuitive...
And I live in Delhi....it has more than it's share of dumb people..I mean, come on...

siropdevanille said...

Yeah, I realised that, but since it takes me ages to get a comment posted here, I thought, 'FACK IT!' :P

You better start talking to some pretty women in person, this blogging and commenting and lawyering is making you quite uhmmmm 'tongue-tied'!!

mistercrowley said...

@ Syrup: Bah...tried all of that...always ends up in communication breakdown ;)

purely-narcotic said...

communication breakdown
poor you! What with a horribly slow net connection, poor reception on the cellphone and the language barrier...complete communication breakdown indeed!