Achmed, the Dead Terrorist, has been sitting pretty in my head for close to a week now. So, basically, I’ve been going around yelping, “SILENCE…I kill you” at random people. Almost said it to the Bossman, caught myself in time, yeah. But, hey, after a week spent mostly in bed, thanks to food-poisoning and 2 near-fatal car accidents, I’ve got a right to tell people I might decapitate them if they don’t shut their pie holes.

I shouldn’t be feeling too happy and, frankly, I think I need more sleep and get rid of this rope burn around my neck.

But you know what? This feels great.

I should be (a) getting my bank statements together for my tax returns; (b) trying not to move around too much lest my stomach and my head decide to disintegrate yet again; (c) getting my dinosaur Thinkpad back from the bodyshop; and (d) taking my jalopy to the bodyshop to hammer out all the dents those scumbag bikers put in a couple of night ago.

And yet, all I really want to do is go break my neck in a mosh-pit at a Lamb of God concert. Convulse like an epileptic marionette and scream “GUARAN-FUCKING-TEED…..SOMEONE WILL BLEED”!

Well, I certainly want SOMEONE to bleed, and I don’t care who. Let’s see you take this under advisement, jerkweed.

16 Scallywags have walked the Plank |:

Angel said...

Wow. What a time you're having. I kind of hope you wound up in the mosh-pit because it surely sounds like you deserve it. Hope you're healing!

Mister Crowley said...

Angel: Sigh. No LoG gigs here in India. All we ever get is losers like the Black Eyed Peas. Bah. All healed now, thanks so much :)

Mukta said...

You got hit by bikers too? So did I, but then those dudes swerved and hit a cow and then had the most harrowing time of their lives. HA HA HA HA!

the snake said...

sigh..no Lamb of God indeed..and even if they do come..i am sure Delhi won't be in their list of venues..

Mister Crowley said...

Mukta: A Cow? Wow? Free milkshakes. Ha.

Snake: Hell no. Delhi (surprisingly) has the biggest LoG following in India. Heard 'Wrath' yet? Kicks ass.

Sirop said...

Ohkay then!

Glad to see you're alive and kicking! Make 'em bitches bleed Crowley! Make 'em bleeeed!

Also, there won't be no gigs, for they always go to Bangalore or Mumbai. They don't like Delhi. Apparently, organising it etc is a bitch. Or some such. I think they just hate us cause errr Himesh and Deler are usually much appreciated. Or that Akon character.

Hmmmm... so right. You take care then...

Sirop said...

Now I remember! Stop referring to random places as Body Shop. It is my pick-me-up place, my stare-and-sniff-till-you-are-giddy place. Don't use it lightly. Please.

Very close to my heart. Very.

Mister Crowley said...

Sirop: Yes, dearie, I'm back.

Brgvi said...

interesting blog..are u a metalhead too or just a pirate?..a doubt

Mister Crowley said...

Brgvi (Bhargavi? No?): I'm a little of both, I suppose. Welcome to my den :D

SMM said...

Dude...I start collecting my bank statements only in the last week of september :P

PS: I'm a lawyer too. The scum of the earth n all as many people would say. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum anyway :)

Mister Crowley said...

SMM: what makes you think I'm actually collecting bank statements now? :P i just said I ought to be, ha.

SMM said...

Well, Mr. Crowley, probably the fact that your already saying that you 'ought' to be collecting them :P

Angel said...

Would you post something already?! Geez...

Rassles said...

Twenty twenty twenty four hours to go?

chandni said...

do u mind posting?