Is not just something you’d tell a hooker, but the thought has been cavorting in my head for the last few days (in its literal sense, not the hooker sense, you filthy bastards).

I suddenly seem to be surrounded by people who warrant a fist in their respective mouths.

There’s the female co-worker who starts screaming when the pest-control folks land up in office, and who leaves a large, half-eaten bowl of curd to rot on her desk every fucking morning.

There’s the techie client and his little Hobbits, who’ve been chewing my brains for 6 hours a day for the past 10, about due-diligence documents and tinkering with the ROFR clause in some financing agreement (you’ve got it coming, bitches. I’m billing you for each miserable minute I’ve had to spend with you!)

There’s that misbegotten BRT Corridor to pass through to get to abovementioned Client’s office. That’s 2 hours of shifting from 1st gear to 2nd and back to 1st in my clunker, which, by the way, is starting to sound like a cow in labour.

There’s my pesky younger sibling, Archie, who was busy measuring the WC in my loo at 6:30 a.m. This, by itself, is not so odd, considering her future profession. But I’d had a large dinner the night before, and the urge to, er, download, was unbearable. So consider yourself lucky, sis. You almost got a sock in the jaw back there.

There’s also the usual choir of bill-collectors, assorted canines and felines and bovines, mosquitoes, door-to-door salespersons, traffic policemen and my boss, who ensure that I do not have a single misery-free moment.

Where’s my 12-gague?

Also, isn’t this song perfect for an Obama campaign tune? (i.e., of course, if Obama was the violent, bitchy sorta fella)

17 Scallywags have walked the Plank |:

Perakath said...

*grins* measuring what about the WC, exactly?

mistercrowley said...

Per la Belladonna: Measuring it...like, with one of those retractable metal inch-tapes...don't ask me why, man. I thought lawyers were fucked in the head...turns out architects are worse....

Mechanical said...

I like the way my jat friends usually put it:
"Manne hinsa ki bhavna aave hai"

mistercrowley said...

Mech: Manne bhi baut aave hai...par manne samjh na aave ke karoon ;)

El said...

Suppose it could work, though the freak show song would be more apt maybe?

Impulsively Me said...

Some temper! :)

Cheers!
Me

mistercrowley said...

El: Quite possibly:

You: Better I let it off here than elsewhere, no? ;)

siropdevanille said...

B R E A T H E.......... never works...! So write and vent! haha! :)

mistercrowley said...

Yo chammiya sai baat bole hai ;) (Point upwards)

still ink stained said...

i have taken a policy decision to bill even the minutes i spend swearing after I hang up on a piss off client :)

mistercrowley said...

Ink: That's my girl ;)

Mukta said...

It's the heat. Think of Lodi garden when something pisses you off. You'll calm down immediately. :-D

Not really..but Lodi garden is a lovely place to be thinking about!

mistercrowley said...

Mukta: Yeah, I'd give an arm and a leg to be in Lodhi gardens right now....hell, I'd give anything to be in any damn garden :D

Anonymous said...

Yuss, manne bhi bahut ghussa aave!

Mechanical said...

Dammit I wanted to applaud and cheer like a Jat but there are NO HARYANVI TUTORIALS/TRANSLATIONS online.

WTFX.

mistercrowley said...

Mech: You need tutorials for that sort of thing?

Mechanical said...

Yeah kinda. Though I'm working on losing the curse of the NRI, ASAP.