The latest Crowley blockbuster.

Ah, hell. Who am I trying to hoodwink? Yes, well, I’ve been away for a while, and at one point was considering shutting down Blackbeard’s saga once and for all. But I’ve reconsidered (temporarily anyway).

Don’t have anything interesting to say, except, perhaps, rant a wee bit about two things that have been bugging me a lot over the past week.

First, my congratulations to Barack Hussein Obama, Esq., for being voted President of the United States.

I’m sure he loves the fact that most of America voted for him. I’m sure he’d also love (nay, amused with) the fact that thousands of people sitting in India are celebrating his win, though (a) none of these people actually voted for him (they’re not Americans or American citizens, so it figures…though they did follow all his speeches, yes); (b) they’re cheering him on despite the fact that, well, they’re not really his people, and in the larger scheme of things they don’t mean a monkey’s arse to him; (c) only a miniscule fraction of these people showed an equal interest in their own national General Elections; (d) an even smaller fraction of these people know their own President’s name; (e) most of these chaps will not bother going in to cast their vote at the next Indian general election; and (f) if Obama actually goes through with his pro-American internal policy (and why shouldn’t he…it’s his country and his people) then the same folks who’re cheering his victory here will lose jobs, foreign funding and easy visas. Let’s see if you’re still cheering for him then.

Learn to love your own fucking country, you cunts, before you learn to love someone else’s.

Secondly, where Martin Campbell got a royal flush with Casino Royale, Mark Foster’s Quantum of Solace is a perfect fucking ZERO. I’m a huge Bond fan, so I bunked Court to catch the 2nd show of QoS on the release day. I honestly believe, now, that I could’ve better spent those 230 rupees on two rum and cokes, and waited for the movie to release on DVD. QoS I supposed to carry on with the storyline at the end of Casino Royale, which is, in short, Bond trying to get answers to Vesper Lynd’s death, blah. This is where the plot begins and ends. The remaining 2 hours of the flick are full of plot holes, crap editing, painful underutilization of all characters (except Bond, but then we can’t have that sort of balderdash now, can we?) and insipid action. A scene where Bond outguns a fighter aircraft whilst piloting an unarmed WW2-vintage DC-3, is a little too unbelievable for my liking. Even if it IS in a Bond movie.

Gah. Have a good weekend, y’all.

17 Scallywags have walked the Plank |:

Joe said...

Truer words have ne'er been spoken. I'm flushed with pride at your arbit use of the word cunt.

Perakath said...

I thought the movie got away with it, JUST barely, because it's a Bond flick. Very weak plot, though, and the girl really didn't do much for me.

It's time to see a Bond Meets Bourne flick, Alien v. Predator style.

Rassles said...

I have never seen a Bond movie.

It's like my thing.

I've read all the books, love them. Love. But for some reason the movies have managed to elude me, and for now, I'm keeping it that way.

Hate me.

Mister Crowley said...

Joe: I quite like that word ;)

Perkins: It's time to see QoS's director and scriptwriter drawn and quartered.

Ras: Aww. We still love ya, Raz ;)

chandni said...

I enjoyed watching it, as you rightly said, no dearth of Craig on screen!

I quite love the man as Bond.

D said...

QoS was a huge disappointment!

It had none of the Bond essentials and there's some stupid plausible explanation for that: apparently, Casino Royale and QoS are like prequels to the quintessential Bond flicks. In Casino Royale, he falls in love with a girl and in QoS, he takes revenge for her death. And it is because of this girl he once loved that he becomes the womaniser that he is. Remember that scene in QoS where he's nursing a drink on the plane and doesn't even know what it is though it's his signature drink?

Okay, so that's that. But it doesn't justify the disappointment the film was!

Purely Narcotic said...
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Miss P said...

yay! you're back, and with avengeance apparently. so angsty you sound. good stuff.

MISSquoted** said...

It's not necessarily that they love America that these people you mention were following the elections with bated breath. It could be the glamour quotient, the ability to find opposing views centralized in one debate or forum which makes it easier for most of us, challenged as such to multi-task, to review and understand them. While it is unacceptable that one doesn't vote in their own country's elections, I can understand why the multiple parties with multiple ideologies that cater to multiple people, religions across multiple states can confuse and completely befuddle a person. We don't have this or that, we have this or that many, any coalitions notwithstanding.

And at the end of the day, no matter what you say, American Politics affect us and everyone else. It is amusing yes, because McCain would have been better for us. Swaminathan Iyer points this irony out recently when he mentions the popular American presidents within India - Clinton and Obama, the former didn't do much barring granting sanctions for the Pokhran tests. The latter we will see, but we are doubtful :) Whereas the highly unpopular Bush pushed the Nuclear Deal through.
Did I already mention irony? :D

a fan apart said...

you're right about bond. the only silver lining is the fact that things have been kept pretty consistent, as far as the bond's character development and the movie's dark, gritty tone is concerned. its interesting to see the thug bond continued for the second movie running; i thought they would have turned him into the charmer bond this time round. worst opening credits sequence ever though.

Coo said...

haha too bloody true.
how can you stop bloggin when you are so the funny i say!

Mister Crowley said...

Chandu: Craig rocks :D Movie..NOT

D: Basically. It has no dialogues or plot to speak of :P

Narco: Nautanki eh? December aane do, phir dekhte hain ;)

Penny Lane: What vengeance apparently? :P MC is back ;)

MissQ: Glamour quotient you say? I say Vladimir Putin has more GQ than Obama (and certainly more than McCain). Didn't see nobody go ga-ga over HIM :P It's not the adolation I find irritating. It's the dichotomy of it all.

Fan: Bang on about the opening sequence, mate. Craig looks painfully silly sliding around sand-covered body parts...

Coo: There you are, pigeon girl ;) Who says I stopped blogging? A mini-vacation was all ;)

Purely Narcotic said...
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Angel said...

Every single time I find a freaking blog I like, the author starts thinking about closing it down.

Maybe it's my fault.

I've never seen a Bond movie either, but I'd screw Connery into next week if given the chance. I don't care if he is 120 years old.

Vedant Kidambi said...

Hey bro, do not trash this blog. So what if you do not write new material too often? There is no rule against keeping it dormant for a long time, right? If people like you stop writing and putting those writings on a blog, this world will become too sane to live in.

Bluestreak said...

Don´t stop posting. We likey. Especially when it´s drippin with attitude like this post.

Aarabi said...

absolutely agree about the bimbos cheering obama. just because he's mildly threatening p'stan about cleaning up their act? or because he's not white?
what? are these people blind?