My maid servant’s slightly deranged husband decided to spark up an unusually dull Sunday for all of us.

He tried to kill himself last night.

Nobody quite knows why the crazy bastard walked out of our garage (where he and his wife shack up), poured a bottle of kerosene over his head, and went whump like an oversize magnesium flare.  It was all rather melodramatic (or so I’m told), and the hottest conspiracy theory, at the moment, seems to be that the lad was dying for a drop of cheap whiskey, but was broke. So he just decided to go down in a blaze of glory instead (pun certainly intended).

After a night spent driving between home and several hospitals, and a few hours with the local cops (not a pleasant prospect, I can tell you that) gathering ‘evidence’, it turns out that the boy won’t make it through tonight. Not surprising – not with 80% of his body burnt to a crisp.

What’s even scarier is that I feel no fear, revulsion, pity, sorrow or agony when I see this fellow snuff his life out, only a sense of immense exhaustion.  Perhaps I need a vacation. Or perhaps I’m not working hard enough.

Superterrorizer Sunday, yeah.

As an unrelated tit-bit, a couple of hours before the aforementioned inferno happened, I was happily moseying in and out of second-hand furniture stores at Amar Colony market (yes Penfold, thanks for the directions, I owe you one).  Bookshelves were the order of the day (see previous post), and Crowley’s happy to report that some winners were shortlisted and duly ordered.

There was, however, this rather interesting bookshelf that I came across, and which I would’ve bought on the spot had it not cost Rs. 10,000!!!!!  Each shelf of this rack was labeled “HOLOCAUST / ANTI-SEMITISM”.  Interesting, yes?  It turns out that the furniture store bought this one second hand from the Israeli Embassy. 

I mean, is that neat or what? Owning a shelf that was probably used by some Mossad station chief. I think I need to take some womenfolk along…to bargain with the store-owner (since I’m entirely incapable of bargaining).   

Any volunteers? Rossie? Nimps? Penfold? Syrup? (Free beer and cigarettes for volunteers. And cream pie. Pie fights, too.)

11 Scallywags have walked the Plank |:

Mukta said...

hey! sorry about the maid's husband...

nomad said...

jeez !! that must have been a tough night for you - handling the cops in a situation like this can be no less than a nightmare.

while i have no sympathies for suicidal alcoholics, i cannot help but feel for your poor maid who would have been working her butt off to supply money to her drunkard husband. it must be a sad position to be in.

Rassles said...

That is just plain fucked up, because seriously, if I was going to kill myself? I am pretty goddamn sure that I'm not gonna light myself on fire.

But yeah, sweet bookshelves.

Anonymous said...

I find the content of your post somewhat disturbing. Doesn't it worry you that a man who you may have seen for some portion of life, and with whom you may have spoken, suddenly decided to light himself on fire? More importantly, doesn't it worry you that it doesn't worry you? I know you spent a lot of time trying to help and dealing with the situation, but its the humanity of the tragedy that should hit you. Its even scarier that after spending half a post on this, you segue into a discussion of holocaust bookshelves. I dont think you're heartless or callous or anything, just that you seem reluctant to address your own feelings on the issue, even to yourself.

Miss P said...

i want that bookshelf. the anti semitism one. but no money, and no place to keep. sigh.
and contrary to anonymous person up here, i dont blame you for your reaction, (or lack of it) to the sunday incident. tough luck.

Nimpipi said...

poor maid..

10k for a bookshelf..? take photos. upload.

poor maid..

D said...

Are those Amar Colony markets that good? I need to be there next time I'm in Delhi.

siropdevanille said...

Ummm... ohkay then!

Rs 10,000 for a bookshelf? Really? Why? I have to see this.

siropdevanille said...

And you didn't know directions to the Amar Colony market! Haw.

chandni said...

well I haven't been asked....but if I get the freebies alongside...I'd accompany you. Waise, i need a bookshelf too...so it'll get my work done too!

I bargain like a pro, sometimes getting shop owners to fold their hands and say" madam aapki bhi koi dukaan hai kya?"

Don't laugh....I am good!

Coo said...

I understand the lack of feeling. There are honestly enough other relevant issues to get emotional about than 'if i don't get my fix ill kill myself' shite. Also don't you think that if poor old Sanjay Gandhi's nasbandhi campaign had run successfully, it would have probably rid us of *80% of such elements? I'm just saying.

*personally arrived at stat