For those of you who’ve been reading BBC (Blackbeard Chronicles, i.e., not the British Broadcasting Charity, if you were wondering), and for newer inmates, there’s an “About Me” section on the right, which tells you a little bit, well, about me. I’ve been tinkering with the idea of making a few template changes and adding an About Me tab. But, since I’m illiterate in CSS/Java scripting and the like, that’ll have to wait for a bit.

So, folks who read this blog know that, among other things, I’m a grouchy lawyer; that I moonlight as a DJ; that hip-hop artists ought to be crucified (my loathing for the genre increases exponentially by the day); that I believe there’s a lot to be learnt from ex-girlfriends; and that Ozzy Osbourne is a worthy role model (for heaven’s sake, look at my NAME).

Here’s some other stuff you ought to know about me.

I’m terrible at remembering names, birthdays, and phone numbers. I’d forget my own birthday if it wasn’t on such a miserable day. On the other hand, I never forget a face or a voice, or where and when I met a certain person, or silly details like what clothes they were wearing when I met them.

I remember conversations I had with people, oh, ten, even fifteen years ago. Down to the last word. But, for some reason, these are conversations of no significance whatsoever.

I’m also a walking-talking four-leaf clover…for every one except my own self. I have an eerily high propensity of getting into what ViralFish once pithily described as “the most hilarious accident/violence scenarios” of his life (with friends like these, who the hell needs performance appraisals?).

Walking through a construction site with about twenty other people, I’m the only guy who’ll get clobbered with large chunks of waste concrete. I regularly fall into puddles that other people easily managed to jump across. People keep data backups, so that they have somewhere to go when their hard-drives go blotto. I’m the jackass who managed to get his backup music folder wiped out (52 GB. I’m still trying hard not to cry).

And to add to my list of misfortunes, I’m probably the only one in Delhi who (regularly) gets run-over by newspaper boys on their bicycles (while jogging on foggy winter mornings) and postmen on their bicycles (on shimmering, hot summer afternoons). I’ve had a mail van and a truck carrying eggs ram into my much dented hatchback on at least three separate occasions. Two nights ago I collided with a milk truck on the way back home.

I don’t get it. Why me? People get run over by cool stuff like trains, trucks carrying liquid nitrogen, sulfuric acid and highly inflammable petrochemicals. I get whacked by a hundred gallons of toned milk!


I think I ought to change my name to Wile. E. Coyote.

Phuggeee. Meep, meep!!!!! (Where’s that damn aspirin box?)

Also, I've discovered that Vanilla Syrup makes brilliant caprioska.

18 Scallywags have walked the Plank |:

Mukta said...

You're the chosen one... that's why.

Impulsively Me said...

Dangereux... C'est tu !! :P

mistercrowley said...

@ Mukta, Impulsive: Thanks, it's a tough job :P

siropdevanille said...

Ugh. Lately, I feel the same way. I was born under a lucky star (supposedly) and now I have had one entire month (a little over a month now) of fuck ups. Everything that can go wrong, goes wrong. Also, the mood swings are terrific. GAH.

Yes, bad Monday at work. Full of horrid news, and things getting FUCKED. UGH.

And thank you. The caprioschka was quite yummy wasn't it?

chandni said...

something for u on my blog

I scribble here said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
I scribble here said...

i always thought lawyer plus a DJ was a lethal unity..:P

chandni said...

Aah.. the caprioska sounds nice!!!!

btw Sirop: do u use brown sugar or syrup to make??

siropdevanille said...

Mr Joshi says Hi..

@chandni: Brown sugar, lemon chunks, mint... lots of vodka and ice! Sprite/Limca... :)

Mojito is made with sugar syrup.

Vanille syrup is the base for lots of desserts... I love the way it smells... :)

mistercrowley said...

@ Syrup & Moonshine: I leave this blog alone for 2 days, and now I have 'Yan Can Cook' on my hands...hheheh...

And a Hi to mr joshi, syrup :)

@ Scribbler: Lethal is right....I'm suprised I haven't killed myself yet :P

Moo said...

I think you must be my soul sister. I don't know why I remember names of people who have no bearing on my life or even the person they're connected to, whilst remembering their clothes almost down to their underwear. I'd rather not be gifted with such stupid powers, and make do with stuff like intelligence, etc. (that I have not been given). :D

Ditto for the "accidents". I trip on building staircases, when I'm wearing sneakers, especially. Teehee.

chandni said...

@sirpo: No no...don't add sprite!!!!

It has to be without it! I make a mean one too :D

chandni said...

@sirop again: oh just read the second part....Mojitos are of course diff...but even for caprioska, a lot of people use syrup and not brown sugar...that's why was wondering how authentic is urs :d sounds pretty good.

And why are u explaining vanilla syrup to me??

And Crowley: shuddup! This is called education on finer things in life. We're talking daaru!

mistercrowley said...

Why are all these women telling me to shut up on MY BLOG? :P

This is most unfair....

mistercrowley said...

@ Moo: Soul sister? Mooi? How bovinely nice of you :D

Divya said...

Hahahahaha! Right.. Get adsense. Start ads for Acme Corp. Tht should pay the medical bills :D

copy tht for the memory bit. I will remember a bad joke i heard 10 years ago but not an appointment fixed the previous day...

So far I'm the only one Ive heard of who regularly manages to fall "up" the stairs... clumsiness sure is an interesting lifestyle... :D

purely-narcotic said...

You shuffle(as opposed to walk, like most of us) down the road, don't you?

Mister Crowley said...

Narco: Of course. I thought you'd discovered that by now ;)